you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
