WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
