Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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