Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
