did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
