you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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