I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize