Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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