I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
