he shaved USA in his pubs
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize