Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
