the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
