Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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