I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
