she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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