id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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