I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
