ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
