dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
