I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
