I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize