i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
