the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
