you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
