He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
