i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
As shirtless as possible
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
