gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
