your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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