you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize