Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
