spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
