didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
