I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
