She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There's even glitter on my cock...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
