More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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