There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
