Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
