If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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