dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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