I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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