some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
tell me about the fingering
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