When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
