Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
