If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize