He kissed a someone with a penis
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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