is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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