just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
