My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize