Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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