Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
