I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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