I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So many bounce houses so little time
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
