yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
