I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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