if i can run in heels then i can drive
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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