During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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