It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
