you have to choose: penises or morals?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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