i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize