You're my little dorito
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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