But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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