Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
